05 September 2012

Miracle medlar youth cure

Yes, you too, can achieve wrinkles and soft oozing flesh in as little as one night. This is the time of year when many write in agony about unbletted medlars.

Agonise no more. Instead, pick your medlar when it will easily twist off from the stem. Be it hard as a youthful opinion, worry not. Shove it and its companions in anything you wish, even a save-the-earth bag, and pop them in the freezer.

Then take out, after they have frozen, as many as you like. It's easy as that.

Freezing achieves a host of good things. Something complex to the sugars, something rending to the flesh. At the Mespilusphilic Institute, two scientists are studying this phenomenal instant aging. Soon they are sure to find the secrets (and a cure for cancer), but we can be incurious and still achieve our shortsighted simple ends.

The flesh colour will be mostly blandly blonde, and the taste will be more like a baked apple than a naturally bletted medlar, but what can you expect from a miracle?  Real depth of beauty, taste and natural rot can only be reached by experience.


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